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Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Random writing, pretty much.

You will overcome, you will endure I tried to tell her as she sat there, tears rolling down her face, her eyes looked like an endless abyss. I could see the agony in her eyes, hear the tone of her voice. She was hurt. It was all my fault. What have I done? Then I heard those words, the words that made this happen, the words that started all of this. "I love you." Three simple words could never mean so much, could never make me so hurt, but yet feel so good. Was it true love? Even after all that we have been through, after all I have done, she still found the courage to say those words. It felt as if my hollow heart was ripping out of my chest as I walked away.

"Dreams, like hearts were never meant to be broken" - unknown

I dont know why I have always been compelled to write, I guess its my way of dealing with everyday life. What is life? I think life is what we make of it. It can be as pointless as we make it. I never thought about the meaning of life until I met my first love. Then I thought, what if love is the meaning of life, what if we are here to love one another, to get each other through situations and problems? Yes, that is it, or that is what I would like to think.

This is it, think of each breath as your last.

My heart is broken, there is a void where she should be. I wish she could see how much she meant to me, how much I loved and cared about her, but she dosent. I am just now feeling the sudden impact of what happened today. Tears are falling, my heart is bleeding. I am here alone, when I should be with her. She left me, but for what? For him? We know he will never change. He will treat her like absolute shit for the rest of her life. I dont see how she can be happy with that. I fail to comprehend why. Maybe its where Im young. No, no I don't think so.

I feel like my chest is going to explode, I miss her. Dosent she see what she is doing to me? Dosent she care? I swear I will never forget her, I will never forget our love. My love will go on for her, while hers ceases to exist. My heart will beg for her to come back, hers wont. I will be miserable, she wont. I thought we were forever, I thought we were meant to be. I guess she thought otherwise.

I hope she has a wonderful life, but I know she wont. Not with him. Why would anyone want to stay with someone who has and always will treat them like dirt? Why do girls always want the jerks?

I gave her everything, I gave her love, but most of all I gave her my heart. This is what I get for falling in love. My heart, that was perfect, is now broke in a million pieces, and it is all by her hands. She has done this to me, she has killed me, and is going to from the inside out.

I guess I meant nothing to her, and now I never will.

It wasnt perfect, but it was the best I could do. Im sorry about our problems, but I tried. But she didnt.

And you can say your sorry, but I dont believe you baby like I did before,
Your not sorry.
~Taylor Swift

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

VMA's, Kanye, and Peanut Butter

So, Its been a very long time since I posted my first post, Ive been soo crazy busy lately, I haven't had time to get on here.

But anyway, we all seen Kanye's stunt on the VMA's Sunday. I must say Im not surprised. He has been known to be a total jerk, and this just proves that point even more. I mean really, why would you stand up there and ruin that for anyone. Beyonce is great, dont get me wrong, but she has recieved much love and awards for her album, I mean just about every one of her songs on the album is a hit. Taylor won, fair and square and he should have been man enough to just take it. Then he called and tried to "apologize" which was probably just a PR stunt. But that's just me. EDIT: President called Kanye a "jackass".

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. ~Author Unknown

So, this week is homecoming week at my school, and so far we have had: class color day and retro day. The rest of the week is farmer day, Twin Day, and Black and Gold Day (school colors). But anyway, me and one of my friends have planned out the twin day. We have a Mario and Luigi costume, and are wearing them to school, while playing the mario theme song. And Im thinking rigging boxes to hang from the ceiling and recreate the game enviroment.

But as I talk about that, I have to tell the story about yesterday. We had just bought the costumes, and went into the local movie theater with them on (note: we didnt have any pants on under them). But anyway, we went to see "Gamer". Well, we walked in, and of course everyone stared. We watched the movie, which was great by the way, then when it was over, my friend noticed that he didnt have his wallet. Well here we were dressed as Mario and Luigi, and we were looking for keys everywhere. Lucky it was a Monday night XD

On to the peanut butter topic.
Peanut butter shakes are freaking awesome. So of course, if they are this great, I would be inclined to ask for one to any restaurant I happen to walk into. Well I walked into this one restaurant, asked for one, the waitress just took my order like usual, and went to get our drinks. Well she came back with this milkshake. It was brown colored, kind of like peanut butter but darker. Well anyway, I tasted it and it was vanilla. Well upon asking the waitress why it was vanilla, she said that she was allergic to peanut butter. Smartass. ^_^

But that was my post, take it or leave it. I hope to post again soon. Later.

Random Quote:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Currently
Fearless
By Taylor Swift
Fearless
see related
Yay for first post!

I had a crazy dream last night, so Ill start off my describing what I saw.

I felt a numb sensation shoot across my body as I lie there. I saw from the corner of my eye a ruby red flow of liquid, I was bleeding, but from where? I turned my swollen eyes upward and saw two blood drenched men huddled over me with medical equipment. I heard the agonizing screams of fellow men as I lie there. I was dying, I knew that much. I tried to piece together the horrible scene, then, all at once, I felt a sharp pain followed by a blinding light. Immediately after seeing the light, I saw her face. All things turned peaceful, the screaming and gunfire was silenced. I then looked down, and watched as the two men covered my body with a sheet. I was dead.

So yeah, that was kind of weird. I dreamed I was dead, and like it was insane. It was so peaceful when I first died though, it makes me wonder what its like to die. I mean really, is it super peaceful and calm, or do you just cease to exist? I know religion plays a major part in this so Im not going there so I wont offend anyone.

I liked this..haha

So anyway, to update you all on my new computer, I love it. Apple > Microsoft anyday.

Yepp now I will share with you all something very personal. I wrote this a while back and just found it on my old computer, it still means a lot though.

I remember the first time I saw her face. I looked into her eyes and I saw the most beautiful sight my mortal eyes have ever seen. I was awestruck at the way that she looked as the light reflected off of her perfect, flawless skin. I wish that moment could have lasted forever. I loved how she spoke, the sound of her voice made my day. But, of course she was dating someone else. Should have known that someone that perfect wouldnt be single. He is the luckiest guy ever. Im glad shes happy, even though it kills me inside. There is not a single day that I do not think of her, and knowing that I cannot have her hurts so bad. Sometimes I feel like just sitting down and crying. I cannot think of her without felling severe self inflicted pain. If only she knew how I really felt, how bad she hurts me every day. If only she knew the relentless torture that I go through, just because of her. I know Im stupid, but I just cant help myself. She drives me crazy, and I cant do anything about it. Life really sucks, but it still goes on. All I can do is just try to forget.

Random Song Quote FTW!
Im only up when your not ~~down~~
Dont wanna fly if your still on the ground

Man I cant wait to see Taylor Swift in concert on July 18, its gonna be awesomer than warm pop tarts on sunday morning haha :]]

K, time for me to get outta here, see yall on the flipside. Comments would be great :c)